If you sip from the cup of love, it seems to become the poisoned challis that has the ability to turn a promising relationship into one that could take you into a dark abyss. Such is this emotion, that if you look for a definition, they come in such varieties that you’re not sure which one to pick because they all seem to fit!
What’s amazing is that I must have gone to several sites but not one was able to give me a satisfactory definition for what love is. So eventually after struggling for quite a while, I have realised that love means different things to different people. Why? Well it looks as though relationships go through their phases and everyone seems to want to define love from a point within it of their choice. They could be at the beginning, the middle or even the fag end of it, which could explain the darker versions.
THE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF LOVES
So if you’re a Shakespeare lover than ‘love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.’ Then we go towards the darker side, toPaulo Coelho, where‘Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it,it leaves us feeling lost and confused.’ Then of course, it’s left to Ambrose Bierceto be rather moreblunt, when he defines.. ‘Love’. ‘A temporary insanity cured by marriage’. Of course if you want to see the emotion as a bit more generous, then you can,through the eyes of actress, Katherine Hepburn, who said that ‘Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get- only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything.’ Well this one pretty much exhausted me and I’m re-thinking this whole love thing and wondering if it’s really worth it. It looks to be more of a rollercoaster ride!
Looking at the myriad of definitions and the many emotions that collectively seem to sum up this thing called ‘love,’ I’m personally reminded of a poem by John Keats, called ‘The Ode of Melancholy,’ where it talks about love turning to ‘poison.’Basically the feeling being the double edged sword, where you can be in the blissful moment unaware that behind it, lay the pain yet to come.
…Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil’d Melancholy has her sovranshrine,..John Keats
THE REAL QUESTION
So does love really ‘last forever’ or does it have an expiry date I ask myself.I think it just maybe more finite than we realize. Time may be the healer for some but for others can also be the ‘Shiva’ in the relationship because life plays out, changing you and this love of yours in the process. So if love is all consuming at the beginning, maybe it’s because you feel that your partner is the one, that he/she is your everything, can do no wrong, has all the answers, and will always feel the same as he/she does right now. But reality is that people do change and grow up.
It’s inevitable that everyday a new experience will require you to respond in a particular manner which then develops you as a person. Now these new experiences could come in many forms good and bad, unfortunately, over which we have no control.
Then when things don’t quite work out as planned, suddenly you see your partner as less than perfect, not youreverything and someone who doesn’t have all the answers, and who is in fact, as flawed as you are. Suddenly, the passion flies out the window when those bills and stresses come flying in through the door.
So yes love is everything that everyone said it was depending on where you are in a relationship but the ‘Everlasting’ version seems to be the biggest myth that story books want you to believe becausethat’s the dream that sells. So how you change as a person while addressing the stresses and strains, is the game changer. So yep, I’d say all that ‘passion’ and ‘to die for’ stuff is temporary but how you respond to what that emotion thenbecomes, is really up to you. You may not feel that first flush of love but maybe it morphs into something more mature, another version?
So even though passionate love may have an expiry date, not all relationships may have one because we can carry on without it…just in a different way.
Article by- RJ Annie D